Why I Built Stay in Touch

I'm the kind of person who really cares about my friends and family. I think about them often. I want to be there for them. But I'm also the kind of person who forgets to reach out.

Life gets busy. Work deadlines pile up. Kids need attention. Days turn into weeks, and weeks turn into months. Before I know it, I realize I haven't talked to someone I care about in way too long.

This isn't because I don't care. It's because I lose track of time. I'm what you might call a well-intentioned forgetter.

When Forgetting Hurts

A few years ago, I had a wake-up call. Some family members sat me down and told me they were frustrated. They felt like they always had to be the ones to reach out first. They were right. I wasn't holding up my end of staying connected, and it was hurting our relationships.

That conversation stuck with me. I didn't want to be that person. I wanted to be better at staying in touch, but I needed help remembering. My brain just doesn't work that way on its own.

I tried using regular reminder apps, but they felt wrong. Setting a reminder to "call mom" made it feel like a chore, not something I actually wanted to do. I tried keeping notes in various apps, but they weren't built for relationships. They were built for tasks and projects, not for remembering who likes getting photos of my kids.

Speaking of photos, I learned something important. Some family members told me they love when I send pictures of my kids. Others never respond to them. I wanted to remember who actually wants those updates, but I kept forgetting. I'd send photos to everyone, or forget to send them to the people who actually wanted them.

Building Something That Actually Works

So I built Stay in Touch. Not because I'm some productivity guru or relationship expert. I built it because I needed it. I needed something simple that would help me remember to reach out without making relationships feel like another item on my to-do list.

The app does a few things that matter to me:

It reminds me when it's been a while since I last connected with someone. Not in a nagging way, but in a gentle "hey, you might want to check in" kind of way. I can snooze reminders if the timing isn't right, and I can set different cadences for different people. My mom might need a check-in every week, while a friend from college might be fine with every few months.

It lets me keep notes about people. Not just birthdays or addresses, but the little things that matter. Like who wants photos of my kids. Or what we talked about last time. Or what's going on in their life that I should ask about next time we talk.

It's Working

Since I started using it, I've been better at staying in touch. Not perfect, but better. I reach out to family more regularly now. I remember who wants those kid photos. I feel less guilty and more connected.

I'm still a forgetter. That hasn't changed. But now I have a system that works with how my brain actually functions, not against it.

If you're like me, if you care about your relationships but struggle to keep up consistently, maybe this will help you too. You don't have to be perfect at staying in touch. You just need a little help remembering.